My Midgets, Curly and Madison

I have to talk about it otherwise my heart will be forever broken.  I so wish I could stop crying.

13 years I've had Curly and Madison.  They came to me as soon as I was out of the streets, I met them the day they were born and they went everywhere with me from then on.

Do you have any idea what my house feels like without Madison and Curly here?

I've been sick to my stomach and feeling the need to throw up ever since.

I loved them.  I gave them the best life ever!  They were my very best friends.

13 years is a good long life for a dog.  They've been healthy and happy and loved their entire lives.

Their quality of life was beginning to diminish.  Madison was in pain and did not feel well.

I feel like I might scream.

I was gonna take the coward's way out and send them with my girls, but Caryl encouraged me to be with them, to love on them, to have those last few moments and they were the most beautiful and heart breaking moments of my life.

I held them both in my arms and let them go.  It was the hardest thing I've ever done in my entire life.  It was beautiful and it was the kindest thing I could do for them.

He snored like he was sleeping really good and she embraced it completely.

God gave them to me and they have made my life so very rich.

They had lots of personality and I could tell you stories for days.

I loved them so very much.  They let me know it was time for them to go and just like that my life is changed forever.  It would be selfish to make them stay when they were so tired all of a sudden.  It would have broken my heart to see them old and struggling and suffering with no way to tell me what's wrong.

I don't know how long it's gonna hurt, but I know it was the right thing to do for them.

I am in true mourning, a part of me has died and my life will never be the same without them.

I've had separated dogs for three years.  It's a lot of work, checking and double checking.  

Beaudreaux doesn't understand why I'm so sad and he's a totally different kind of dog than the two of them were.  He is loved and he is the only one now.

Death is a part of life and we don't get a choice in the matter. I loved them to the very end and now my heart can stop worrying I'll find one of them dead in the morning, or I'll accidentally open the wrong door.  My heart can stop being sorrowful they've grown old and aren't getting around as well anymore.  I watched it happen with my very own eyes, with my arms wrapped around them, with uncontrollable tears and cries out to God.  I know what every single one of their days looked like.

I don't care what anyone thinks, it wasn't up to anyone else.

They had a beautiful life.