I Really Am In Heaven It Couldn't Be Anywhere But Here In This Moment

Heaven came into my life in the last thirteen or fourteen hours.

I made that run.

I had to.  He's got to be busy and I've plenty to keep him busy until the time comes for him to go.

He's not going to another rehab, he's going to a bible school.  (OH LAWD)

I was laying there, next to him, absolutely nothing wrong in my world in that moment, completely alive, thankful and happy.

21 Months and 7 Days.  2 is us 1 is HIM and 7 is the number of completion.  That's how long it has been since we've seen one another on the same page.  That's how long it's been since.......................

Today is a new day.

Today we are starting over.

Today we make better choices.

Today is new and uncharted territory for us and there is no place to go but forward.

Man, it's beautiful!

No one can tell me anything today!

I feel so good, there's nothing that could be better.  My dog snoring in his cage, my husband sleeping in my bed and no fear in my heart about what the future holds.

I kept hearing "I broke something in him, not a bad breaking of something, but breaking only I could do."  I thought about that and thought about that.  "Well, okay.  I'll take it and I'll never complain."  Whatever it takes.

Everything works for my good right?

If you believe any of it, regardless of audience relevance and history, it's the love, it's the goodness, it's the beauty of the love affair and nothing else.

This very existence is a love affair between God and His creation.

The love affair!

Either He loves us all of He doesn't.

Period.

I love this man.

I want better for this man.

There are families going through this kind of life with people they love and all they want is better for them. 

My husband's best friend came and talked to us before we left and told us how his oldest daughter is serving 30 years for murder.

Have a social media friend, same thing, daughter in jail for murder.

People who don't know where their loved ones are because the streets have lured them away.

People afraid to call home because they know they've messed up, they've messed up everything in their path, they are no better than when they started and they don't want to be rejected.

The streets don't love anybody.

That's why it's called a trap.

Just think right now, in this minute, another woman, same situation is sitting here this morning, my story her story and her heart is soaring in love and hope.

She desperately wants to believe, to trust.

She doesn't care what anyone thinks about it.

Her beloved has come home.

He is safely sleeping in her bed, no drugs, no turmoil, nowhere else to be.

Some of y'all want that and don't ever let go of it.

Don't ever give up on them.

Love never gives up.

Love just keeps giving and giving and giving some more, without expecting anything but good results in return.  Love makes more love.  Love is all there is.  Nothing else in this world matters more than love.

I made a promise to that man, there's a crown tattoo on my finger that marks what that was promise was, a mark that will never go away, a vow that takes my whole life to fulfill.

I am loved and I love.

The only thing I ever quit in my entire life was smoking crack and crappy jobs.

It's not for the faint of heart, but I am not the faint of heart now am I?

I made a promise, I chose to love someone I knew had just as many issues as I did.  I wasn't wearing rose colored glasses when I did that.

I've laid down seventeen years of my life for this man and his love.  I knew he was going to be trouble.

He sang songs off the radio all the way home, one of the things I love about him.  

What you won't do, you'll do for love.

When they do come home, no matter what happened before, love them, welcome them, encourage them, tell them how much they mean to you because they could have just as well been snuffed out in the streets and never made it that far.  They are what matters, not what's wrong with them.  They are what's the best, screw what they've done.  They are the most valuable and broken people in the world because they need the love we already have so desperately.

The only abomination is to withhold love.

In my world it's not humanly possible, but everyone doesn't live in my world.

This morning he is home, I am his home, he is well, he is resting and my heart is full to bursting with joy and love and peace.

Who gives a crap what happens tomorrow, it hasn't gotten here yet and I'm so happy and thankful to have today.

He sang to me all the way home and the universe was throwing out some fine stuff for him to sing.

Today I have heaven and what a beautiful thing that is.

I pray for those who don't, they are in my hearts.

I think of those I know and countless numbers of others that want this one minute in time and I love them and can hardly wait for them to have that.

Beauty and love keep us alive in this lifetime.

As long as we have this moment, he is still in my world and my world is complete.

Whatever is next we face together.

Now, we are both believing for his miracle.

It took him a while to come around, but I'll take it.

I'm sending you lots of love right this second.  I love you, I see you, I am aware of your struggles and I am proof of life to you, there's so much more.

Song of Solomon 3 

The Bride's Dream

3 On my bed by night
I sought him whom my soul loves;
    I sought him, but found him not.
2 I will rise now and go about the city,
    in the streets and in the squares;
I will seek him whom my soul loves.
    I sought him, but found him not.
3 The watchmen found me
    as they went about in the city.
“Have you seen him whom my soul loves?”
4 Scarcely had I passed them
    when I found him whom my soul loves.
I held him, and would not let him go
    until I had brought him into my mother's house,
    and into the chamber of her who conceived me.